In the National Eisteddfod in Tregaron,
It seems the toilets are not up to scratch,
Why are the Welsh folk complaining,
They're painted green, 
Side by side, 
They all match.

Perhaps it's because they're all plastic,
And plastic it seems has been banned,
Perhaps because plastic piss pots  mawr,
Have been placed on NFU land.

Yes maybe that's why they're moaning,
Cause on a farm surely dig a big twlch,
But then think of excrement slushing,
Whiffing in high heat, such slwysh.

Just think of the gluteus maxeye,
Wain fawr, pidyn,  crouching, 
Obscene!
But it's the land of my father's,
My father's can keep it,
It doesn't seem awfully clean.

But George Monbiot he will be happy,
For he says farming should come to an end,
For the cattle that fart and the chickens?
Don't start,
He  says will help bring this world to it's end. (Wales Included)

So please precious Welsh FUW farmers,
When councils strive to do good,
Helping children keep fit 
Peddling their home made yogit, They're promoting fresh fruit and free food.
(Yogit, Welsh for Eisteddfod Yoghurt)🤔🤐(joke at the end of spiel)

They have to abide by Health & Safety laws,
Such a bore, British laws most pedantic,
But unlike farmers when times tough,
Others get it rough, 
We don't get grants, subsidies, 
Most gigantic!

Perhaps farmers are like rail workers?
They're all sensing their job's on the wane,
Well thanks to computers and government controls,
Join us, cause we too are all lame.

And what about facts most unfactual,
When you leave the meas and head drunk into town,
You insist your friend plays the pub piano,
Cause you say that he's world renowned. 

But I'm afraid proud dear Eisteddfod goer,
He's ok but sounds a bit sullen,
I mean your all anal retentive,
He's gwethol, quite splendid,
But he sure ain't no Jamie Cullem.

So forget kicking off about oat milk,
Did the free fruit for kids pasteurise?
Your elitist Eisteddfod,
The poor can't afford,
Sort something worthwhile,
I deride...........
You!

And if you thought that this is dairy farm heresy,
Then why let your children partake,
Having fun on smoothie bikes spun,
They can and they cun,
Peddling there own free oat milk, milkshakes.

Cause there are people allergic to some foods and drink,
Even in Tregaron contradictory to some,
So rather than anaphylactic, 
The council took safeguarding tactics,
Children spun there own health drinks,
Such fun.

Maybe The Welsh Arts Coucil think me an irrational silly sod,
But let's look forward to
A reformed fine,
National Eisteddfod.