(To quote Mr Ian Dury, the poem starts and ends with….

"Assholes bastards fuckin' cunts and pricks'

Beep beep beep beep beep

Oy, get back on the pavement wanker
Get off the fuckin' street.
And you parked with your hazards on Where do you think you are?
I've got the urge to shunt you on
You, in your silly fuckin' car.

Beep beep beep beep beep

Oy, if you can't park near the pavement,
Get off the fuckin' street.
My car is my castle
I don't brake quick for nobody
So don't make manoeuvring mistakes
You cunt, be perfect just like me

Beep beep beep beep beep

Oy, the pelican lights are flashing amber
You one legged git
Get off the fuckin' street.
That cock trying to park his car
Is it a Mr or a Miss what the f….
Ha ha ha ha ha.
I could do better if I was pist….
'tons pumping, tailgate thumping's
What I dream about

Beep beep beep beep beep

And what about your cripple sticker Brains you've fuckin' nowt
I drive so close behind you
You could almost lick me in your rear-view
I will intimidate, try to infuriate
There's Jack Shit that you can do

Beep beep beep beep beep

My car is my castle
Get out the frigging way
Oh, do I suspect retaliation
Twatt, you wanna come an' play? Petrol heads, van or taxi drivers Young, old, male, female,
Wanna be cadavers,
Whatever fits?

Shit, bang

You breaked too quick
I wasn't looking at her….
Tits full of feminism
Balls out to PC
My indicators may be small
But Road Rage guy,
That's me!

(Future driving 10-20 years have gone by Driverless electric cars are on our roads.
I invisage people with their heads out the car window shouting
"vroom vroom"
I predict something like this:

I'm the same cunt in my electric castle
And although driving is not as pleasurable
There seems to be less pricks about And incidents are more measurable So,

Beep beep beep beep beep

Not much anymore,
So on occasion,
I'm heard to shout
"You twat,
It's your car's fault
My software is far superior,
You need to sort yours out!"

I can still have a road rage rant
Can have my selfish fix.

Beep beep beep beep beep

Assholes bastards fuckin' cunts and Pricks!