Oh I wish I'd been an electrician,
And adhere to their strict rules,
And condemn those that tried to D.I.Y
Those unqualified bloody fools.

Oh I wish I'd been an electrician
And joined the sparky police trade
I could have defused tricky situations
The lives I could have saved.

I'd get to wear the Snickers trousers
With loaded pockets full of tools
I'd grab my pliers to pull my wire
Yeah, I'd look really cool

And if I'd had a bad day
Cause well I was not feeling
I wouldn't worry 'bout phone calls late at night,
"Water's pissing through my ceiling"

I'd be feeling guilty of such shoddy work,
Thinking, life can be a bitch,
But nobody screaming "you've set my house on fire,"
Thank God for the trip switch.

Oh I wish I'd been an electrician
Must be such a simple task
Cause electric leaks do not explode
The same as fucking gas.

Oh I wish I was an electrician
Not a mere plumbing trade existence
But watt I have is a volt of wine
My ohm's my pissed de resistance.

And if I did become an electrician
And thought watts become of me
I'd think, balls to this I'm out of here
To work on windmills out at sea!