Oh I wish I'd been a programmer
And be a super geek
I could work from home all alone
Day by day, week by week.

Oh I wish I'd been a programmer
Clicking software incomprehendable,
I'd despair at those who didn't understand
They would simply be expendable.

Oh I wish I'd been a programmer
To help the world run by computers
To end the luxury of going out shopping
And climate change commuters.

Oh I wish I'd been a programmer
To help lovers meet and date
Promoting perfect partners make a match
Tracking their online fate!

Oh I wish I'd been a programmer
Devising future A.I. machines
Then human disease and human sleaze
Would be wiped out, clinically clean.

Oh I wish I could write software
Using my knowledge world of plumbing
I'd make the software simple
So old gits like me were in the knowing........

How to operate Microsoft
Make a proper raspberry pie
Granny Smith could ditch her i phone
Cook apple crumble times gone....

Bygone days seems such a shame
Life surely had less stress
Time saving computers
Seems such a stupid.........

Nevertheless!
I wish I'd been a programmer
I'd simplify it see
T'would be no great task if one couldn't grasp
Cause I'd invent the 'fuck it' key!

Oh I wish I was a technician
So at users I could laugh
They'd ask me for my help
And I could leave them feeling daft.

Oh I wish I was a programmer
So could program soft statistics
But my brain's inane so won't take the blame
And besides, I'm not sadistic.

Oh I wish I was a programmer
I could be as charitable as Bill Gates
Algorithms in perfect rythym
A new world in a new state!

I zoomed in on a meeting
It was virtually quite bleak
If this is progress what a mess
Oh I'm so glad I'm not a geek!

Cookies, hackers gigabytes,
Wake from my nightmare
What a fright
Woke up sweating, woke in fear
I'm glad I'm just an engineer....

Of the gaseous and liquifaction variety!